Yeah – Valentine’s Day
Well, here it is again…………………..Valentine’s Day. For those who have lost a spouse, it’s simply NOT a happy day. As a widow, I totally get that. It’s almost 4 years down this grief road for me and it’s still kind of a yucky day. I think at this point I have tried to focus my love on my kids and grandkids. The rest – I really do try to ignore…………….it’s just too much. And quite honestly, it was never a huge holiday for my husband & me. We felt like it put undue pressure on folk to do something/spend $$. We always felt if you loved someone, you showed it throughout the year. That person should always know you love them. You honor them as you take time to nurture that relationship, whether in big or small ways every year. OK – done beating that horse.
A New Thought This Year
This isn’t really an original thought I’m about to share. It is, however, right in line with all the gratitude stuff written about in books, articles and blogs. For me, I saw it in a morning devotional. The concept made me stop and really look at this day differently.
Being Thankful/Grateful
So the whole idea is that in the midst of this giant hole in our lives, we choose to list out several things that we are grateful for – I mean REALLY grateful for. Depending on where you are in the grief journey, this will be an easier task one time and tough at other times. Please understand that I am still in a very difficult place grief wise – the stupid thing comes and goes. I hate it ! But – in my Valentine’s pain, I was able to see this morning that I was truly blessed. And so, as I began the day, I listed a few things I am truly grateful for. I was reminded that there are so many people that do not have what I have, on many levels. It doesn’t make the pain go away, but it makes my existence this Valentine’s Day better. I’m going to choose to focus on the gratitude, not the emptiness.
My List
This is what I am grateful for. Perhaps it will help you think of some things or people that you are grateful for too.
1 – Wonderful children and grandchildren
2- 4 very good friends that I begged God for – for so many years.
3 – a beautiful home & good car
4 – pretty good health
5 – my calling & booklet/ministry
The Prayer
I simply prayed that I would not miss the delight & joy in the things that ARE while focusing on what IS NOT. Sometimes the grief takes over – that’s going to happen. We can’t stop it. But the rest of the time, we can be thankful for the blessings right in front of us. Maybe this is a good way to move forward ?? For me I think it is. And however this works for you, I hope it will help you move forward too.