Illness – surgery – medical procedure……………………………….
When on the grief journey, these things come along as part of life. But isn’t it true that they also point a singular arrow at us that says – alone?
I’m a member of two Facebook groups for those widowed. They are wonderful, safe places to talk about anything. And one of the recurring subjects is prayers for an illness, or upcoming surgery, or a medical procedure. One thing I love about these two groups is that we rally around each other. It’s more than just friendly support. It says loud and clear that we are not alone……………even though we are facing whatever it is without our spouse. . . feeling so very alone.
Do you have a group from church, dear friends who are neighbors, work people, or folks you feel close to from a grief group, that you can share these type of burdens with? Even though we aren’t together in the regular sense of the word community, we can reach out digitally or outside on the sidewalk/driveway. And we need to do that – you need to do that – I need to do that.
You are probably wondering what in the world nudged me to write on this subject. I’m so glad you asked!
On October 4th I was exposed to someone with Covid. I lost my sense of taste and smell on Friday, October 9th. October 10th I got tested and it’s positive. So I’m isolated for 10 days. News like that is always a bit surprising, but I’ve learned over many years to take the news, think about things logically at first and then execute a plan. It was that evening that I crumbled a bit when realizing I was facing another medical thing. . .alone.
Now before you think I’m depressed or not able to cope. . . .abandon that thought. I only have the one symptom and am doing well. My momentary spiral down was just that – momentary. The deal was that the real surprise wasn’t the test results – it was the brick of “aloneness” that hit me.
And because I’m not the only one going through things like this, my thoughts turned towards you. I want you to know that you aren’t the only one that feels that way. And – just knowing that, I hope, will make you smile and realize that it’s all going to be ok. And – if you are going through something, comment and I will certainly pray for you. You are not alone. Believe that.
In addition to that – please take a moment and identify your core people. Think for a moment about whatever groups you’re a part of – on Facebook or at church or work. We all have our close-to-us people – then our next circle out – good friends – then the friendly acquaintances. So identify your “go-to” peeps ahead of time. Because like it or not, at some point, you will have something in your life, medical or not, where you will need support. Oh – and let’s not forget family. Family can be such a great comfort and support. Why didn’t I suggest that earlier? Probably because I’ve seen those widowed whose families are not supportive or even friendly. So if that’s you, take heart that we can choose the people who can lovingly share our burdens. I have a wonderful family, and feel so very blessed. In particular, my dear children and their spouses are amazing. They reach out to me in love, which is priceless.
While I had my moment Saturday night, I’m feeling confident that God is walking with me through everything. I want to encourage you to feel confident too as you realize you are not alone. We’ve both come so far on this journey. And yes, there’s probably a long way to go, but since we’ve made it this far, I know we will make it to the finish line – courageous and triumphant.