Changes can be good or bad – easy or difficult. On this grief journey, we encounter massive changes at first. Our spouse dies and every – single – thing – changes. It’s not easy, but we muddle through.
Time passes and along the way we are faced with more changes. One change may be the decision to move. . . . . .or not.
What have you done in the moving department? Stayed in your home? Moved to a smaller place? Moved to live closer to your children? Or has it been a combination? Maybe you stayed in your home for a year or so and then moved.
I chose to stay in my home initially. Over the years I had seen widows make big changes like moving too soon only to regret it later. So I knew better. It was comforting to put that decision off indefinitely.
But now I’m about 5 years in and the subject is looming large. My home is quite big for one person and my property is challenging for me as I age. The land is not flat. There are steep places that make my legs unhappy. So last year at 61, I opted for a lawn service taking over the mowing, trimming and edging. It wasn’t easy making that decision because it meant an extra expense. But what a burden lifted ! So this change. . .good, very good.
But back to moving. . .because I know a move is coming, I am going through the house for the third time since my husband died, getting rid of lots. A move will require downsizing much more, but things I part with now will make it easier later on.
For now, I’m thinking things through and honestly I’m praying about it a bunch too. Where do I want to be? What feels right?
You may be thinking about a move too. Maybe not this year, but perhaps next? You may be trying to figure out whether to stay in your area or move near family. These are daunting decisions. So take your time……..think it through and know somewhere deep inside that it’s the right decision.
This time next year life will most likely look very different for me and possibly for you.
Why in the world am I writing in the blog about this? Because it’s something every one of us will face at some point. And because if nothing else, it’s sharing an experience with you. Maybe, just maybe, something I share will help you. No idea how, but you just never know.
Feel free to comment. I would love to know what choices you are making – what change you are facing – how you have navigated a move.
Cheers to us all as we figure out this new life.
I was fortunate. After we retired we moved 4 times to find out where we belonged…we thought it was near family but we always came back to where I grew up, to where we both worked, to where our friends are.
Before he passed we bought a new house in a gated community with other Seniors around me…he also left me financially able to make the house payment.
So I am not moving…we never had children so my next move will be in Independent Living when I am unable to care for my house, or Assisted Living or Nursing Home but when that happens I wont be capable of making that decision and others may have to do that for me.
I grew up here, and it is near an Air Base and I always welcomed the new kids in school…so here I am again welcoming the newcomers to the area so if anyone moves here I am here to welcome you.
Nita – I am so sorry for your loss……..and that you are in this club with me that we never wanted to be in. That said – it’s a blessing to hear about how you are in a good place on several levels. I’m just not sure what I’m going to do. But – I do think I will be moving at some point next year. What could change that is if God brought someone into my life here in St. Louis and we stayed either in my home or his. It’s all up in the air. I’m taking it one step at a time.
Welcome to the Beyond Ashes blog!! I hope you will return and comment. There are more entries for you to read. I never intended to blog on my website, but it’s been helpful for me as I go through this grief journey, and while people haven’t commented much, I get feedback in other ways that they like what they read. If it benefits someone, I’m happy about that.
That’s awesome that you are again welcoming newcomers. We moved 13 times in our first 30 years of marriage………so to me welcoming is huge. Thank you for doing that. You will never know what it means to those of us being transplanted.