This is written purely from my own experience, so don’t think you need to do anything I have done, nor should you feel like you are doing something wrong – you’re not.
What I want to share today is how sometimes as we work hard to move forward, be brave & courageous, we get overwhelmed & crash because we are trying to go too fast.
I am preparing to move in a few months. Going through 40 years of stuff is daunting, to say the least. It’s such a tough process selling things and carting car load after car load to Goodwill. Truthfully, there’s been lots I’ve pitched as well. And while getting rid of so much has actually felt good, the enormity of what I’m doing got to me the other day.
In addition to what I’ve already mentioned, there’s juggling so many details buying and selling. Gosh I miss my husband for all that. My brain just gets overloaded – totally maxed out. Especially when thinking too far ahead. Gets me in trouble – every. single. time.
A couple days ago, I got up as usual and started to get rolling, sitting in my Canadian rocker & sipping my coffee. It’s a good way to greet the morning and get a little caffeine charge.
At first I didn’t know why I was feeling so sluggish. Even the coffee wasn’t helping. Then the tears started. It was definitely wrapped up in grief, but it went deeper.
I was crashing from so many things happening in October. 3 contractors doing minor repairs on the house, selling, donating, planning, plus keeping up with all the commitments I already had on my plate. My head & heart simply needed stop…………….work through emotions, prayers of thanks, prayers for continued help, and breathing………..I needed to just breathe.
That whole day, while I did actually accomplish a very short list of things, I fought to give myself some slack. I needed to constantly remind myself of ALL that had been accomplished that month. I even allowed myself some closed eye time in my favorite chair in the afternoon…………..because tears and a banged up heart are exhausting.
So cut yourself some slack too. You have my permission!! And I know – – it’s so darn hard to rest, to feel like you have to keep going………….but that’s a lie from our culture that says you are valued for what you do.
My motto is: Who I am is more important than what I do. .
Not original with me…………..but I honestly don’t remember where I heard it first. Perhaps it’s that wonderful person, Anonymous.
So dear person reading this who needs to stop for a bit & breathe – to allow for tears from grief and being overwhelmed – to just plain rest…………………………….go ahead. It is hard to take the time, but the time is SO worth it.
And moving forward…………………….remember……………don’t go too fast.
Peace……………………….